Why So Many Pastors’ Wives Deal With Loneliness

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pastor-wivesBy Nigel Boys

According to Thom S. Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, many pastor’s wives suffer from loneliness or depression, but they continue to suffer on in silence and support their husbands’ ministries.

Here are a few things that pastor’s wives have shared with him:

1. They are considered to be the pastor’s wife and that’s it.

Many pastor’s wives believe that they have no friends in their congregations, and no one understands them.

2. Husband is too busy to pay attention.

Pastor’s spouses often feel left out because their husbands just don’t have time to care for their needs.

3. Too many negative comments from church members.

If things go wrong, the congregation blames the pastor and his wife. Many wives are sick of hearing their complaints.

4. Pass on this information.

Instead of talking to the pastor directly, church members feel they have to share their complaints about their spiritual leader with their wives.

5. Backstabbing in the congregation.

Whenever first ladies share anything with anyone it will be broadcast as soon as their back is turned.

6. Always on the move.

Pastors tend to move from church to church and their wives never have a chance to set up home or make close friends.

7. Not their own person.

Congregations tend to believe that the woman who is behind their successful pastor is just his wife, who is supposed to be there, and she has no thoughts of her own.

8. No one to place their trust.

Pastor’s wives often feel that they have no one to talk with about their problems and although there are many help groups for pastors, help for their spouse seldom found.

9. Don’t feel like they’re married anymore.

Most pastors never have time to take their wife out for a romantic meal because of their other obligations.

10. Supposed to have perfect children.

Pastor’s children are not like others, or so the congregation seems to believe. They have no right to act up like their own children.

11. Pastors forget who they are married to.

Many wives feel like they are second best and their pastor husband doesn’t care about their needs because he is dealing with the needs of his members.

12. Lack of money.

Contrary to popular belief, not all pastors make huge amounts of money and wives cannot compete with church members on their low income.

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